Quick, quiet thoughts

Christmas is coming, and I'm still at my dorm room. My room mate has already went home, and I'm completely alone here. They say when your mind is quiet, your thoughts begin to travel.

Mine travel far, far away.

My mind begin to travel to a leap of time when I was happy back then. When I was still with him; when I was at my best --and my worst, too.

Then I think about the close friends I used to have; how fun we used to be together, and how bad our separations were.

I think about my mom, dad, grandpa and ipoo. I think about the Christmas gifts I haven't got time to buy.

And about the time of my life I used to have when I was still in high school.

Not that I'm complaining about my life now. It's just... a burst of memories and moments I just miss.

I've been missing things like crazy lately.

Just then I begin to think about things I wanted to let go but I couldn't. Now I don't want to let it go even just a bit.
The sweet feeling when you embrace your friends...
That fuzzy tummy when your crush is in front of you...
The insecurity and curiosity as a teenage...

When my mind drifts, I think about things I've done in my life; the good and the bad. Maybe it was decisions that define the way I am now. Maybe it was fate and destiny. 

Or maybe it was family and friends who change me. Make me the way I am now.

I miss the guitar. It had always been and will always be.
I keep a lavender guitar pick as a good-luck-charm. I still think of a particular person when I think of guitar.
I think of you, and then I'd feel better.
You had been -after all, the sweetest medicine I've ever taken.

My life has been so random lately. As I already told you, the boys at my class are jerks. I've got a greater evidence of that.

One of the boy got his girlfriend pregnant. One other only dare to pick a fight with a girl. Is that kind of thing normal here? What am I doing with my life here?

To be honest. I want these four years to end quickly. I'm afraid they're gonna change me. I'm afraid I'm gonna be changed. I want to remain this me. I'm not ready.

I'll probably post some more because I'll be in holiday soon. Till then, see ya.