Aww, Finn.
I've been away lately. Been listening to the whole The Script's #3 album, some songs by Korean band CN Blue just to listen to JongHyun's sweet voice /faints, and been listening to Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard. Probably my song of the moment. I watched Iron Man 3 last week, and couldn't resist it, I love Tony Stark. Well, I love his retired-playboy, classy, arrogant sweet character, or maybe I just love Robert Downey, Jr. Couldn't decide.
I reread The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield again, and couldn't stop imagining if I lived in that era. What if I had taken part in Adeline's past... as her servant or maybe gardener? Wouldn't it be fascinating? Or terrifying?
Anyway. It's been a quite busy weeks lately. I've got plenty of tasks, and I had irregular sleep hours.
And I'm not happy. Not quite yet.
I mean... what used to be fun is hanging out with my friends, doing crazy things together, etc. Just being with your friends means fun for me. Now my kind of fun is watching RunningMan or doing 9GAG. My definition of fun has moved. It became a more casual fun, not the crazy fun kind of fun.
And it kills me.
How long would it take for everything to be alright? How long until I find my real friends here? How long will it take? Some friends I have here... I never think of them as a real friends. I mean, yes we don't lie to each other and we don't stab each other on our back, but still, I feel like an outsider. All of them already have their groups, while I? I'm the outsider. The one who's not fun enough to be with the popular group but not freak enough to join the weirdos. I'm the in-between. I'm the outsider.
It kills me. It really does.
My only comfort place is my room, jinja. Sometimes at class I couldn't wait for it to be over so I can go home. I never felt this when I'm on high school. Never. It kills me how I'm starting to hate going to school. I couldn't tell my parents... I mean, how could I? They must have prayed so much for my future. Everything here; every particular thing, they suffocate me. They kill me.
I miss my old friends wtf I've been saying this kind of thing in my every post.
I'm not comfortable. Probably never be. Or else I just have trust issues.
Remember this Pet Society game on Facebook? I used to be so crazy for this game, feedind and buying cute clothes for my pet. They're closing the game down!!! I'm gonna miss my Rui /sob
Yah probably I just talked too much nonsense here.
Maybe I'll post some more soon. Jaa ne.
P.S. If you're listening to The Script, take a little time to listen deeply to a song titled "If You Could See Me Now". It was deeply moving, and the lyrics... amazing. Take a little time to close your eyes and listen deeply. It's based on real story, though. The Script never fails me, I have to say.
